Monday, March 28, 2016

As Tom Petty Said...

Waiting is the hardest part.

I am toe tappingly impatient over here. And as someone who likes to be driving things, I am not coping very well.

I am a finalist for two (2!) positions in places that are not what I have come to call Far West Texas. The me that got rejected from more colleges than she got into can hardly believe people actually want me to go work for them. And that is exciting and great and there is a whole world of possibilities that this opens up.

And it'll be hard and scary but good. At least I hope and pray so. It means packing up our entire life and getting out of here. Plans need to be made for getting a new place, cleaning the old place, pricing and then hiring movers (I am very much in the school of "there are professionals who do things & I want to pay them to do those things well and efficiently rather than try to take apart a king bed frame to get it out the door), so on and so forth.

Let alone the giant flip of the bird to management here on how they are terrible leaders as I go on to a new adventure. By which I mean nods and smiles and the requisite two weeks notice because no one ever actually scorches earth because the world is small and you believe in karma. 

None of which I can actually do. Because being a finalist for a job is a lot different than having an offer of new employment. And this limbo is why purgatory was NOT looked upon fondly.

I can't move forward. I don't want to move backwards. Here I sit, attempting to be patient, understanding that I work in government and nothing NOTHING moves quickly about that, but also being so utterly frustrated with the stasis, wishing someone would make a decision and at the very least let me know. I don't even care if it's not. I just want to know.

But. There's nothing I can do about it at this point, unless I'm the annoying applicant who is "just checking in on a status update!" Which I likely will be if I don't hear by next week.

I'm trying to convince myself to operate under the assumption of getting neither job. I'll keep applying to interesting stuff that's open. I'll...try to convince myself to go through stuff in my house. I'll continue looking longingly at vacation options that I'm not sure I'll have the budget to take, and can't actually plan because I'm not sure if we'll be in the middle of a big move or not, as utter distraction.

I'll sit here, externally being patient, internally screaming. And try to give a fuck about my current work when none of it may be my problem soon, but having to assume it will remain my problem.

I guess my point is: people hiring other people: be as communicative as possible, as timely as possible. It'll be good for your candidate's mental health.

*taps toes*