Friday, March 15, 2013


Much like TK wrote yesterday, I got chided by my stepsis for not writing more. Hey! People notice when I don't write! What? Now I feel special.

I don't really have any excellent excuse, other than just not a whole lot has been going on. Litttle things here and there, sure, but nothing major. Nothing that I felt compelled to spill lots of words over, anyway.

There's the thing I do two days of week that should have been a thing I did in law school and doesn't pay me but I really like it and think I'm reasonably competent at it, however because of all kinds of confidentiality stuff, I can't blog about it. And even if I did, I imagine anyone not interested in law would find it painfully boring. Like it's these really esoteric legal questions that I enjoy finding the answers to but I doubt anyone else wants to hear about the eight hours I spend in Westlaw trying to find the right answer and I fistpump to myself when I finally get the statute or case that answers my question and sometimes you can get so far down a research rabbit hole, you're not entirely sure there's any coming back.

The stuff that happens in court can be amusing. Like yesterday when the judge summoned me with a nod to the bench in the middle of testimony, scribbled a number that looked like a driver's license number and whispered "Get me this" and I was like, "GET YOU WHAT?!" but didn't say that and panicked, got to a computer, threw the number into google, figured out what it was, pulled up a citable statute and not a google answer, but had no way to print, and so had to hand her my computer on the bench, which has a screen saver lock so I kept having to go up there and unlock it...which isn't really even that hilarious of an anecdote but it was a momentary panic inducing thing that happened to me. It's definitely amusing to watch all the stuff that happens in court but amusing in the "Why don't you just watch reruns of Night Court? Because that's a reasonably good interpretation of what goes on" way. (Whatever happened to Harry Anderson?)

There's the idiot undergrad extern at the thing I do two days a week, who, for whatever reason has not picked up on that I think he's a moron and somehow thinks I'm some sort of mentor. What? He comes to his "externship" and does his homework. And doesn't do the things I ask him to. And wants me to edit the 25 page paper he has due in a few weeks. WHAT IS THIS WORLD?! If he had any idea how many tweets a day I back out of when he's there about what a moron he is and that I pray to god I wasn't that moronic at 21, he might feel differently. But look at me! Inspiring young minds! I hope I inspire him right out of going to law school. On the other hand I kind of feel like that's a fate he deserves. I'm a horrible person.

There's some crappy stuff going on. Usual existential crisis stuff. But also I got my big flashing, "Welp! There's nothing left for you in SF!" sign when my dad announced he's selling his house. It's not where I live, but it is what I consider home and so while I have played this usually close to the vest I'm none too happy about it. Personally I think selling property in the city is incredibly moronic but I don't have the energy to fight a battle we fought with him a decade ago again. And it's not my property and I can't afford to buy it right now (likely ever. Thanks law school!) and he's a grown up so it's his call. So hey! If you're looking to buy a really nice house on Ocean Beach, let me know! I'd like my home to go to a good person and not some asshat. I may write into any sales contract that I still have visiting privileges. Maybe he should sell it with a life estate to me and see if anyone notices. (Life estates. Ahahaha! Law school call back, yo!) (I think I need more caffeine, sitting here making law jokes.)

There's the decision I have made that come hell or high water (which may be literal, considering) I'm going to the LSU/UF game in October of this year for my sanity. It was the one decision I've made recently that I woke up and was like, "ALL IS RIGHT!" I have no idea how I'm gonna pay for it. Can I kickstarter my vacation? That would probably require actually liking people and being willing to reach out to a network, which I am decidedly bad at. See: job status. Or I keep half joking about starting a Nigerian prince email scam. And my parents are going to be in Europe at the same time so there may be logistical issues but fuck that, I'm figuring this out. For my sanity, I tell you! If you would like to join in, you are welcome but know that I will do nothing in the vicinity of "behave" while on vacation in Louisiana for football. If you would like to donate tickets, hotel rooms, or airfare to this endeavor, I can pay you back in baked goods or with tailgating food should you be in Louisiana.

Anyway, that's the decidedly unexciting goings on around here. What are YOU up to? Any big St. Patrick's Day plans? I thought for a half a second about going to the parade but it means running into everyone I've known since I was 5, I'm broke, and too old for day drinking. I may be headed to the SF Bulls game tomorrow night instead. Anyone else? Anyone? Bueller?

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