Tuesday, August 9, 2011

Pasta Carbonara

I'm working on an epically long sports post that I'm hoping to have done before I leave for Vegas. (I will! I will have it done! Like I got f*ck all else going on...)

In the meantime, as I am in a writing mood, pretending to eat carrots like they are actually so delicious and not just sticks to shove in my face, I confer on you my most favoritest pasta recipe ever. Guaranteed to stop your heart. Seriously, eat this only very rarely, it will kill you. But it's also super easy to make. I ate it the other night before drinking my weight in Corona. (Fat forever, y'all!)

What ya need:
  • Pancetta. That's Italian for bacon. If you don't want to spend money on pancetta, just get bacon. But make sure it's GOOD bacon. Like really good. Remember our rule: the better the ingredients, the better the dish. You need like half a pound of this. More if you want. Seriously, it's bacon. You can't go wrong.
  • 1 c heavy whipping cream
  • 1 c (maybe more like 1 1/2. I like cheese, I use a lot) grated parmesan reggiano cheese. Yes, the good expensive stuff. From Italy. Your parm should not be made in Wisconsin.
  • 6 egg yolks (Told you this dish would kill you.)
  • Your preferred long pasta. I'm partial to linguine but whatever works.

Dice up your pancetta/bacon. Fry it in a pan til all crispy and golden. Resist temptation to walk by and eat it piece by piece leaving none for pasta dish. In the meantime, boil a large part of water for your pasta. In a mixing bowl, whisk together your egg yolks and cream, dump in all the cheese you want. Set aside. Okay, cook your pasta to perfection and drain. Put the bacon in the pot you just emptied of pasta and add about a tablespoon of the bacon grease, return the pasta to the bowl and toss it all together. Put it on low heat and dump on your egg yolk mixture. Gently toss all to coat and for it to thicken up a bit.

That's it. Plate and serve. Red pepper flakes can add a little punch and you can always add more cheese but that's the extent of making the carbonara. You can feel less guilty when you eat scrambled egg whites, from separating yolk and white, the next morning instead of just eggs. But not really.

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