Am I the asshole?

I'm crowd sourcing you all because I have a dilemma:

So. I'm in trouble. My mom texted me at 9 a.m. about making cookies. I ignored it and went to the gym, came home and took a shower. I wish she'd figure out just to leave me alone between the hours of 9-5. I thought about making a contract with her when bar study started but, well, she wouldn't care. 

Another text from her at noon, "Did you respond?" I typed out a long response but didn't send it, knowing I was starting a shit storm if I did. Instead I called her and asked her if she needed them today or tomorrow. She said either one. So I said fine, I'd make them tonight when everyone was home. My logic being that I can actually study when the house is quiet but when they all come home and start babbling on, it's more difficult, might as well do it then. My tone, was, admittedly, somewhat clipped and she asks what's wrong. I say, "I don't know if you think this is a joke or what, but I'm trying to study. I'll do it tonight when everyone is home, it's not a problem but..." And she jumps in "Oh My god! Sorry for BOTHERING you! Never mind, just leave me the recipe and I'LL do it." Insert dramatic mom voice. I say, "No, it's just..." Her, "No, forget it."

I guess the point is that this is nearly impossible to do without an ounce of support. This is the same woman who after I failed the bar exam said, "I TOLD you to go to massage therapy school." Wow, really? Thanks. That's helpful. I just wish I had like one iota of respect in all this and instead they treat ME like I'm the dumbass. So now the rest of today is gonna suck because she's gonna come home all pissy and be mad at me for saying I have to study.

But after pondering this for about twenty minutes longer than I would have liked to I was like, "Fuck. Now I should just make the cookies so she's not pissed at me but she's gonna be pissed at me ANYWAY." The real reaction is that I want to pack up my laptop and my barbri books and never come back here ever again but, well, that's not possible.

I realize that part of me was pissed because it's just that I want them to GET it. But they don't. And they never will. And I should know that by now. It's not like I don't have the time to make the cookies, I do. I mean, I'm here, screwing around on the internet. It's just that THEY don't respect my time, ya know? So it was passive aggressive of me to get mad about but still...my point stand too, right? 

So, what, fair readers out there, would you do? 

a) Make the cookies

b) Not make the cookies, stand your ground

 

Reply in the comments or feel free to email me. Mercy buckets! 

Shameless (Plugs)

I watched a Showtime sneak peek of Shameless last night. It's a remake of a British show. But well done (unlike Coupling, for which I have yet to forgive NBC). Like the British version, I predict complete stardom for the guy playing Steve. In the British version it was played by James McAvoy (obligatory swoon). In this version it's some guy I've never heard of named Justin Chatwin. I am now in lurve with him. Though more accurately I'm in love with whoever writes his dialogue.

Y'all. Y'aaaaaalllllll. Get to the 37 minute mark of that first link and watch 'til about the 43 minute mark. You ever absolutely want to get a girl to love you? Nail her like that. Just...call her on all her BS and let her know that you know her essence. And there you have about the most romantic advice you are ever going to get from me. (And yes, I see a tiny bit of my own defensiveness and insecurities in Fiona. What of it?) This show makes me really wish I had Showtime. I might have to *gasp* look into illegally downloading it. (I joke. I would NEVER knowingly break the law. [disclaimer])

Anyway, that is a roundabout way of saying, bar study is going REALLY well. (Where IS that sarcasm font?) If you want to follow along with me as I lose my mind on that, I created a separate blog for it because it's really fucking boring if you aren't a lawyer/law student/dealing with this shit yourself. So here it is. But really, read it, because if decent descent (I HAVE NO BRAIN!) into madness is your thing, this will totally amuse you.

In other news: in the opposite of new years resolutions, I have yet to go to the gym. I keep making promises. Then keep staying up 'til 4 a.m. screwing around on the internet and waking up at noon. We're going to try and break that tonight with some Tylenol P.M. I need a schedule and a routine and I need to stick with it. If you have suggestions on how to do that, I am ALL ears. You think this would be easier now that football season is over (sad face), but, I am nothing if not good at finding distractions. If there was a degree in that, I'd be the dean of college is slackeritis.

So. Yeah. That's what's going on over here.

Inception

I know I'm six months behind the rest of the world but I finally watched Inception last night. My spoilery thoughts after the jump.

Logically...

I should not be awake yet. After promising moderation I got home at 3 a.m. So, yeah. And then I slept for what felt like ten minutes before being woken up by a raging headache and the need to throw up which I didn't actually want to. So I grabbed a coke from the fridge and pounded some excedrin and wouldn't ya know? Right as rain. So my moderation thing didn't really work that great. But ya know what? Screw it. I feel refreshed, actually, and ready to tackle studying because I got OUT OF THE HOUSE.

Mea Culpa

To make up for excessive whininess and general miserableness I feel, I bestow on you an oldie but a goodie. Quite possibly one of my most favoritest things I have written. Even though it remains THE most embarrassing thing that has happened to me ever. Intrigued? I hope so...

Downward Spiral

Cut for excessive whining

Okay you guys...

Shit's getting real. Bar loans (and the deferment requests necessary to keep, ya know, EATING) are due at the same time that bar study starts again. It's a giant WHHHEEEEE! around here. For the record: that's the sound I make as I rapidly lose my mind. It's creepy, psychotic break noise. It's euphoria brought about by not knowing how the fuck to handle the pressure of all of this and so reverting to a child like state. It's Ophelia losing her mind. Or Lear. Either one. (I took up watching Slings and Arrows on Netflix while ill [I heart Paul Gross]. You're welcome for the overabundance of Shakespeare references you're about to get.) You're all SUPER jelz, aren't you? I know it.