And before anyone gets their panties in a bunch: I had a fabulous time hanging out with Michael and Chuck who both actually enjoyed the LSU game, at least the ridiculous end, (Chuck has had some epic LSU game watching as his last invested watching was LSU v. Ole Miss last year which ended like this). I also think were amused that a) I do scream loudly, very, at an exciting game and b) that I couldn't sit down for the final two minutes of play. 4th and 14 and you HAVE to go for it? Holy mother of god. All I had were expletives. It sounded something like this, "Mother fucking fuck the fuck!" And the loss. And then the win. WTF? It was...bananas. Typical Les Miles clock management clusterfuck. WHEEEEE!!
We bantered, we eye rolled. Neither of them can believe that I would actually watch college football from the moment I wake up on Saturday 'til the time I go to bed. Um, what else am I supposed to do on a Saturday in the fall? I watched, absorbed, read about football right up until I went to bed when I tried to understand what the hell Les was saying at his press conference. We had ridiculous exchanges where we created the "gay innuendo in football" drinking game. "That young sophomore likes to go both ways..." *snicker*. Player with last name Poole led to this exchange:
Michael: Is his last name Poole?
Me: Yes. Trouble, with a capital T and that rhymes with P and that stands for pool!
Chuck: you and your random rhymes.
Me: It's a song! We got trouble! Right here, right here in River City!
Chuck:...
But still. Something was...off. Maybe the lack of alcohol? I was sticking with Dr Pepper. I know last weekend can never be recreated, that there were a convergence of happy accidents that led to things happening the way they did. That even if I go back to Baton Rouge right this second, it won't be last weekend. Which I understand and accept and am fine with. I love the happy accidents. (Halloween last year, birthday in Nice, Valentine's Day 1999.) We had, as I told people on Thursday, STUPID amounts of fun in Baton Rouge, and I love LSU football with a kind of ridiculous passion I can't even explain.
However, cognitively knowing all that, not being there, even for a day game, sucks. (I can't find the exact stat on how much more LSU sucks during the day than at night but I found this, which gives just under Les Miles: LSU has a 5-4 record in day games and 26-2 in night games at Tiger Stadium under coach Les Miles See! I told you we play better at night! [This could also be related to that day games are usually conference games against superior opponents, picked up by CBS and aired during the day, but don't point that out to anyone in Baton Rouge])
So I was, as I even stated yesterday, feeling melancholy. And there are lingering boy issues. About which I have to say !@#$@%. I tried to articulate this to both Michael and Irene yesterday and failed so here goes: Here's what I want: If guy in Louisiana had said, "You're awesome and I like you and I'd like to keep in touch with you when you go back to San Francisco AND I want to make out with you now" I woulda been sold. I want someone who can put up with all this (motions to self), be chill and watch football and maybe go for an occasional meal but has their own life and can deal with me having my own life. That doesn't expect me to be clingy and think I'm crazy and looking for marriage and all that crap. And ya know, physical compatibility. Basically I want my two best guy friends in someone I am sleeping with. IS THAT SO HARD?! Yes, I need to put myself out there more. This has meant fiddling around on okcupid which is so ridiculously underwhelming I can't even handle it. Time to go back to the gym and focus and join Match. Or, ya know, start going out more. (Yes. That one. I should do that one.)
The basic conclusion, after said discussions with Irene and Michael was: leave it alone. I'm not making any more moves. I'm not. I'm way too fucking awesome for that. (Yeah, that's a bit more hubris than I actually possess but I do have a text message to that effect so I'm going with it.)
Anyway, after burning my football watching chit at Michael's, I came home and couldn't even muster the energy to drink more (I finally acquiesced and had a few beers at Michael's, after debating a drive to Santa Rosa to meet my dad and general ennui). I watched College Football Final, part of SNL, and went to bed. So lame. I didn't even want to go get in trouble on my own. (I'm looking at you, Philly Club.)
So what's the takeaway? Well. Next weekend LSU plays Florida, in the late afternoon West Coast time. I think I'm going to save up all my drinking 'til then and then just go balls to the wall. We're (I'm) debating right now inviting people over to Michael's and watching it there (with his permission, natch) or going to a bar. Could use the company of others, chance to mingle and flirt, and it might be good for ALL of us to go out. Then again, I love having our own place to watch stuff, Michael has a fabulous TV...we'll figure it out shortly. But I'm gonna start making lists and crossing things off and stop feeling bleh. Even with persistent fog. There are things to be done and I need to do them... No more moping.
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