Thursday, July 21, 2011


I found myself in a bar in San Diego on a Saturday night with a guy who I didn't hook up with and wasn't trying to (really) and he just fucking nailed me with some truth bombs. And it was annoying. Because it was true. Fucking A. It was more annoying because it came through a thick midwestern accent and was all flipping folksy. I hate being leveled with truth bombs. I'm supposed to GIVE the truthy truthieness, not be the one receiving it.

Basically this guy said I was angry. Not specifically, walking around scowling, but like at life and shit. I tried to argue the point and be all, "No! No I'm not!" But I realized that I was just stamping my foot sounding ridiculous and quickly conceded that he was right. I wanted it to not be true but it was. So then I just drank like ten more Coronas to make it so that I forgot what he was saying and that it was true.

Except that I woke up and of course his truthieness was lingering in the back of my brain. There it was: You are annnngggrrry.

And it's still true. And I still am. And probably moreso now that it has a name. So, that's why the trip to San Diego, among other reasons, and why life in general, hasn't been written down lately. I've been taking some time. To try to not be angry. Or figure out what's making me feel this way (though being the self aware (narcissistic) person that I am, I know the answers there). I've been fucking emo. I don't want to talk to anyone. I don't want to talk. I don't want to move. I don't want. I don't...

Oh yeah, for added fun: staying at the Hard Rock hotel in San Diego will do WONDERS for your amazing self esteem. Fucking blond skinny big (fake) boobed chicks everywhere. Fun times!

On the plus side: I sat in the field club level for the game today (Sec 117 Row B), which is like the super exclusive seating and has it's own private everything and it's awesome and how we ended up there is ridiculously serendipitous so I'll file that under good San Francisco moments.

And now if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna go watch crap TV on my computer since the OnDemand isn't working and I can't fix it and I'm, ya know, angry.

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