Friday, July 8, 2011

Star Struck

I have mentioned this before but it bears mentioning again, and is applicable: I turn into a retarded bowl of jello around certain people. Let's add celebrities to the top of this list.

A few nights ago, the night of my birthday BBQ, I had a dream wherein I was best friends with Emily Blunt. I'm not really sure what precipitated this dream at all, besides a fair amount of booze. (I'm annoying in trying to trace the genesis of dreams. What you watched or saw before bed that led to you dreaming about certain things, etc sort of perplexes me. Shup all of you who say I'm just annoying.)

My most accurate description of this dream is an IM I sent Andy that afternoon, before it drifted too much from my consciousness: "I just remembered my dream! I went to see the Adjustment Bureau in an older movie theater during the day and Emily Blunt was in there too, sitting next to me, bawling her eyes out at a film she was in. I hug her to console her, in a friendly like way. We end up talking through the entire movie (the movie plot makes no sense in my dream, btw) and I find out she came to San Francisco to return a pair of shoes, that she was wearing, and I'm all, "I'll take you to return them!" But the whole time I'm thinking, "Holy shit! No one is gonna believe my new best friend is Emily Blunt! I HAVE to text Andy!" But I can't do it because we're running all over the place to return the shoes and escape the boyfriend who is awful or something...and the dream sort of devolves from there as we end up running around and sort of being IN the Adjustment Bureau? I dunno. But the I have to text you part cracks me up."

So I had this really vivid dream that Emily Blunt was my new BFF and we hung out. I woke up, and later tweeted, that I was a little disappointed that the dream wasn't true. I'd be an excellent bff to a famous person. But, as a general rule, famous people don't frequent SF so this is never gonna happen.

Ironically enough, I found out shortly after that dream that unbeknownst to me at the time of the dream, Emily Blunt was actually IN San Francisco filming a movie with Jason Segel called The Five-Year Engagement and continued to do so. Wha?! I made some offhanded jokes to my friends about, "Ha! Now I can make that dream come true! Emily Blunt and I are totally gonna be besties!" I was joking, of course. I live in The Sunset. I do not hang out at cool kid bars, I barely do anything exciting and certainly don't know anyone in the movie biz. So figured my me and EB (I can just abbreviate it now) besties scenario was never gonna happen.

Tonight my night took a couple of odd turns that ended up with me meeting Beth for a drink at Northstar and then meeting my dad at work. As you know, meeting my dad at work is one of my favorite things. We just roll and have fun. My brother and one of his friends met us as well, as they were looking for a ride to the Giants game. We all have fantastic bowls of pasta and discuss serial killers, roads in Alaska, and other myriad topics at our usual spot.

After dinner, we all hop in a police car and drop my brother and his friend off at the Giants game. We're driving back along the Embarcadero when Beth says, as we get near the Ferry Building Plaza, since she is in the front seat with a better view, "Oh! What are they filming over there?" I look and see a red ambulance thing and say, "AH! That's the Emily Blunt film! I'm dying to meet her!" And fill Beth and my dad in on the dream I had. (Yes, talking about dreams is quite possibly the most boring thing ever. But it's rare that a) I have a really vivid dream and b) have a dream about celebrities, especially a female celebrity. It wasn't a sexy dream about Matt Damon. Nope. That woulda made more sense. But a dream about Emily Blunt. So odd. Oh, and by the way, I haven't actually SEEN the Adjustment Bureau.)

Dad says, "Let's go see!" and makes the U-turn by the ferry building. We pull up next to the filming but out of the way and become more convinced that this is the filming for the movie with Emily Blunt even though we can't quite make her out. (I had heard Twitter reports of a food truck that was an ambulance that people were stoked on except that it wasn't an actual food truck. Someone else figured out it was part of this movie. I then found out more by following Allison Brie and Mindy Kaling's tweets. Yeah internet!) We watch them film for awhile, talking to the cop who was in charge of being on set and discussing that neither this cop nor my dad have any idea who Emily Blunt or Jason Segel are. And I'm getting all giddy and ridiculous and laughing with Beth and naming every last thing that they have both appeared in.

We're spying on the filming, trying to figure out what is going on and getting glimpses of them, but they're kind of far away. Until the transpo guy tells us we're perfectly parked blocking traffic for him as he's about to get the transpo vans as they break for "lunch" (it was like 7:30 at night, but they were planning on filming until about 4 a.m. with a couple other locations that the cop told us about, and I promptly forgot). Dad tells the transpo guy that we'll block traffic for him but only if we can meet "Emily". (My dad and her are on a first name basis now, apparently.) The transpo guy makes a joke about this, yelling over his shoulder, "Emily!" like she'll just come at his command but then walks away to do...whatever it is he's being paid to do.

We are now closer to the filming and can see them in the ambulance/food truck and the set up for the scene and them making out and can even hear Jason say, "We're closed!" at the end of the scene and then fiddle with trying to close the top of truck and failing and then saying, "Annnd this you can add later."

They were done filming. Jason and Emily walk to the tent far behind us and I'm still eagerly watching everything. Dad figures out that the stars are going to be transported in the Volvos parked to our right. I'm still just staring out the open window of the car watching all this going on and I'm like "AH! Jason's right there! He's walking by!" My dad yells out the window, "Hey! Jason!" like he's known his name for longer than five minutes. (The next parts are all super blurry and go super fast so forgive me, it's all a bit of a whirlwind.)

Y'all. The power of being in a police car and wearing a uniform. Jason Segel walks right up to the car and my dad says something, I don't even know what to him, and next thing I know Jason is reaching in to the car and meeting us and we're saying our names and he's responding with, "Hi! I'm Jason!" like we don't already know his name! AH! SO ADORABLE! And he was really sweet and told my dad thanks for all that the police have done to help them filming and how it's their last day of filming and they were really excited. I took a picture of him but because I am one of those people who HATES to be intrusive and ask for favors from obviously busy and tired famous people, it's a really bad shot of him just walking away from the car.

A couple minutes later, Emily walks by. And I lose my damn mind. My dad says, "Emily! I need to talk to you for a minute." Her, in fantastic British accent, "Oh no, what'd I do?" My dad says, "Nothing! Nothing at all. You just have some huge fans in here and I'd like you to meet them." I believe she shook all of our hands. Again, my brain went to crazy fuzzy place where it stops functioning. It basically just sounds like this, "AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAA!" inside my teeny tiny brain. She wipes off the guacamole on to her jacket (Stars! Just like us!) to shake our hand because she is hysterically eating the taco from the taco truck. (I imagine, anyway. It might have been from craft services. I like this story better if she is eating the prop food because she's starving and hasn't been able to eat as they've been filming all afternoon.)

I do remember my dad telling me, "Tell her what happened!" And I'm thinking ZOMFG! and say, "I can't tell her that! It's so embarrassing!" The level with which I now sound like a 15 year old fan girl is flipping ridiculous, I realize. To a FEMALE famous person. I now know that if I ever actually met a MALE on my Top 5 I would lose all power of speech and be the most useless glob of goo ever.

But I then proceed to tell EMILY EFFING BLUNT that I had a DREAM about her and that "I didn't even know that you were in town!" Her, "Well, what was I doing in the dream?" Me, "We were watching the Adjustment Bureau and you were crying." OMG. That's REALLY what I said. Without giving her any fucking context. Geezus, Lisa, could you BE more of a spaz? Probably not.

Do you know what she said? Do you?! No! Because you weren't there! She said, "At my own miserable performance no doubt." *dies, is dead*

My dad then says he's gonna take a picture and angles in to take one with her but I get all typically spazzy after getting out of the police car and push him out of the way and I take a picture with her. Me! With Emily Blunt! And do you know what she says to that? "Well let's get a picture so you can have more dreams about me." This sounds kinda bitchy. And that's likely a paraphrase. "So you can have better dreams" maybe? I dunno! Shit. I'll ask Beth tomorrow and get clarification because my brain was just...too many synapses firing all at once. I sort of hope it was that original thing. It'd be perfect if she said that in a bitchy way to me. But it didn't sound that way. It was perfectly adorable. So I have a horrible picture of myself on my cell phone of me and Emily Blunt. My dad then walked her across the street safely to her waiting Volvo. (Apparently her assistant or whatever had asked my dad to do this, my dad at first thought that person was being bitchy or facetious but realized she was serious in having my dad escort her safely across Embarcadero.) He does that and I am completely distracted by putting the photo in my phone and of course tweeting the adventure so  I miss anything else.

And that's it. We pull off the Embarcadero, they wrap up their filming, and we go about our night.


I will likely never meet another celebrity again having been a colossal idiot around these two. Who were both incredibly sweet and fantastic to us and my star struck stupidity. Which when you think about how many people they likely meet at any given time is impressive. Also how tired they must have been as this was literally their last night of shooting and they got to go home soon.

(Also, I kind of wish I had had the presence of mind to flirt with Jason Segel. Not that it would have mattered or gotten me anywhere but he is so adorable. Something I have thought for a long time and was not at all disappointed by in person. Who was just making out with Emily Blunt. And makes out with Amy Adams in The Muppets movie. Ya know? On second thought, glad I didn't do that and saved myself any further embarrassment.)

(Additionally, when we returned back to the police station, I promptly fell out of the car and onto my ass. So. Still me.)

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