I think when I was in college and lived alone, it never felt daunting or frustrating because I was young and dumb and acting on instinct. It's surprising how little you actually screw up when you act on instinct. (This is the same theory with which I credit my fairly young parents with not damaging either of us too horribly. They didn't have time to read Spock and shit, they just acted and Voila! I'm sure also aided by a ton of family nearby.)
Because HOLY CRAP am I bad at it now.
Showing posts with label stupid. Show all posts
Showing posts with label stupid. Show all posts
Thursday, June 13, 2013
Saturday, June 1, 2013
Adventures in Living Alone
Or: I am sometimes often a moron.
In case you were unaware, I moved out of SF. (More on why I'm pretty freaking okay with that another time.)
I am now residing in a Central Valley city that for work reasons I'll remain vague about, but basically: it's opposite SF, personality wise.
In case you were unaware, I moved out of SF. (More on why I'm pretty freaking okay with that another time.)
I am now residing in a Central Valley city that for work reasons I'll remain vague about, but basically: it's opposite SF, personality wise.
Monday, October 22, 2012
Lil Wayne & The Riot
Sometimes I'm writing about things I can't believe I'm writing about. But alas. Here we are. Lil Wayne. And me getting cranky about baseball fans. (After watching 60 Minutes on my own, unbidden last night, I channel Andy Rooney below.)
Monday, October 8, 2012
Florida, Fleet Week, Failure
LSU lost to Florida after our offense stalled and our defense couldn't sustain us the whole game.
The knees of 350 lb man-child linebackers are apparently made of dried out rubber bands and we should just preemptively replace them at the end of each season in the name of prudence because being gutted on O-line is not helpful for the decision making abilities of our skittish QB.
I was cranky about the loss, of course, as being a fan of any particular team for any length of time proves to be detrimental to one's mental health. But I can't say it was exactly surprising. Day time, in the swamp, for a team on the upswing as we appear to be on a downswing. I think I could feel that loss coming.
Besides! It was a gorgeous fall day in SF with a kabillion things to do. I'd rebound, right?
The knees of 350 lb man-child linebackers are apparently made of dried out rubber bands and we should just preemptively replace them at the end of each season in the name of prudence because being gutted on O-line is not helpful for the decision making abilities of our skittish QB.
I was cranky about the loss, of course, as being a fan of any particular team for any length of time proves to be detrimental to one's mental health. But I can't say it was exactly surprising. Day time, in the swamp, for a team on the upswing as we appear to be on a downswing. I think I could feel that loss coming.
Besides! It was a gorgeous fall day in SF with a kabillion things to do. I'd rebound, right?
Monday, March 19, 2012
Traveling
Apparently because I haven't left SF in a fair amount of time, and since I'm with my dad and thus don't have to take care of things and can just coast on this trip, I turn into a colossal idiot when traveling. Which is what I get for my dad bragging to his friends who we are traveling with that I'm the smartest person he knows. (He's obviously very biased.)
Unrelated to my idiocy I first have to deal with other people: I get stuck behind the middled aged Midwestern women going through security which just tortures my effective, planning self, who has already removed her shoes and put her laptop in it's own bin, while they dawdle with their shoes and hold up the line. Not that there was a line but they were sure as hell trying to create one. One of them had water IN her carry on, you guys. I mean COME ON! Have you not flown in the last decade? Gaaaah. As someone on Twitter who flies frequently said: you have to go into zombie zen trance mode to keep from being CONSTANTLY ANNOYED. For serious.
But then *I* turned into just a completely non-functioning idiot.
You all know I have a serious Dr Pepper addiction, right? When I pulled up the info about our Virgin American flight I discovered that they don't serve Dr Pepper, and since I of course had barely slept the night before our flight, I had to have one. I buy a 20 oz bottle at the airport store for $3 which is lol absurd but can't take liquids through security! Don't want the terrorists to win! Capitalism, y'all!
We get on the plane and get settled and seriously if you can fly Virgin, do. The in seat TVs make it feel like you're just channel surfing on a very small couch for a few hours and not stuck on a miserable flight. After I get settled and the seatbelt/operate electronics lights go off, I pull out my bottle of Dr Pepper. And of course I manage to have it explode ALL over me. I'm now covered in Dr Pepper about a half an hour into my 5 hour flight. I am amazing, you guys!
But it gets better! I at one point get up to use the bathroom, something I try to avoid on planes but I stupidly drank 2 cups of black tea before our flight. When I return, I notice the light is out on my fancy noise canceling headphones. They have a AAA battery in them that makes them work. So, since apparently my headphones are an old Nintendo, I take the battery out to shake it and put it back in. Except I somehow manage to drop the battery next to me. I'm in the window seat with my jacket shoved next to me and as I go to grab for the now dropped battery it of course slides down further and drops to the floor behind and next to me. I thought about asking the person behind me if they could grab it but frankly, I didn't feel like bothering anyone for a battery that obviously didn't work anymore anyway. Batting a thousand. I just start laughing at the absurdity of it.
I fortunately had a backup pair of headphones so I wasn't stuck with the sound of my own thoughts for the rest of the flight. (Yes, it's excessive traveling but I can't just wear the noise canceling ones out and on the off chance I actually work out on this trip I need the non-noise canceling ones too. Ya know how it goes...)
We get to the luggage carousel and my distinctive purple Swiss Army luggage drops down. I grab it and after everyone gets their luggage, we head off to find our driver. We're waiting at the curb for the driver to retrieve the van when I look down at the luggage tag and realize it's not my purple bag.
In all my travels I have never seen anyone with my bag. Now, I'm not naive enough to think I have the only purple luggage in the world, but seriously, I have never seen an identical bag come off the carousel before. I just assumed it was mine and grabbed it. I even looked at one of the pockets on the front and thought, "Huh. They were rough with my luggage, that stab mark wasn't there before." I also have this big pink luggage tag on my bag (it was a gift) and didn't even occur to me that it wasn't there as I'm being a world class spaz and am all kinds of out sorts, apparently. But as we're curbside and I look down at my luggage make the realization and say, "Uhhhhh this isn't my bag! I took the wrong luggage!"
Considering Dulles is a good half an hour drive from downtown D.C. it was a good thing that I noticed before we left the airport but I'm still a little panicky. What if the other party took my bag without realizing it? What if we have to swap bags? My dad takes the bag and goes back inside. He finds my bag sitting forlornly on the luggage carousel. He returned the luggage I mistakenly took to the counter, though no one was standing around waiting for it. So I got my bag back with as little hassle as possible.
I just...know better! I don't know how I turned all brain dead all of a sudden as soon as I left San Francisco but there it is. Nowhere near together, you guys, nowhere near...
Unrelated to my idiocy I first have to deal with other people: I get stuck behind the middled aged Midwestern women going through security which just tortures my effective, planning self, who has already removed her shoes and put her laptop in it's own bin, while they dawdle with their shoes and hold up the line. Not that there was a line but they were sure as hell trying to create one. One of them had water IN her carry on, you guys. I mean COME ON! Have you not flown in the last decade? Gaaaah. As someone on Twitter who flies frequently said: you have to go into zombie zen trance mode to keep from being CONSTANTLY ANNOYED. For serious.
But then *I* turned into just a completely non-functioning idiot.
You all know I have a serious Dr Pepper addiction, right? When I pulled up the info about our Virgin American flight I discovered that they don't serve Dr Pepper, and since I of course had barely slept the night before our flight, I had to have one. I buy a 20 oz bottle at the airport store for $3 which is lol absurd but can't take liquids through security! Don't want the terrorists to win! Capitalism, y'all!
We get on the plane and get settled and seriously if you can fly Virgin, do. The in seat TVs make it feel like you're just channel surfing on a very small couch for a few hours and not stuck on a miserable flight. After I get settled and the seatbelt/operate electronics lights go off, I pull out my bottle of Dr Pepper. And of course I manage to have it explode ALL over me. I'm now covered in Dr Pepper about a half an hour into my 5 hour flight. I am amazing, you guys!
But it gets better! I at one point get up to use the bathroom, something I try to avoid on planes but I stupidly drank 2 cups of black tea before our flight. When I return, I notice the light is out on my fancy noise canceling headphones. They have a AAA battery in them that makes them work. So, since apparently my headphones are an old Nintendo, I take the battery out to shake it and put it back in. Except I somehow manage to drop the battery next to me. I'm in the window seat with my jacket shoved next to me and as I go to grab for the now dropped battery it of course slides down further and drops to the floor behind and next to me. I thought about asking the person behind me if they could grab it but frankly, I didn't feel like bothering anyone for a battery that obviously didn't work anymore anyway. Batting a thousand. I just start laughing at the absurdity of it.
I fortunately had a backup pair of headphones so I wasn't stuck with the sound of my own thoughts for the rest of the flight. (Yes, it's excessive traveling but I can't just wear the noise canceling ones out and on the off chance I actually work out on this trip I need the non-noise canceling ones too. Ya know how it goes...)
We get to the luggage carousel and my distinctive purple Swiss Army luggage drops down. I grab it and after everyone gets their luggage, we head off to find our driver. We're waiting at the curb for the driver to retrieve the van when I look down at the luggage tag and realize it's not my purple bag.
In all my travels I have never seen anyone with my bag. Now, I'm not naive enough to think I have the only purple luggage in the world, but seriously, I have never seen an identical bag come off the carousel before. I just assumed it was mine and grabbed it. I even looked at one of the pockets on the front and thought, "Huh. They were rough with my luggage, that stab mark wasn't there before." I also have this big pink luggage tag on my bag (it was a gift) and didn't even occur to me that it wasn't there as I'm being a world class spaz and am all kinds of out sorts, apparently. But as we're curbside and I look down at my luggage make the realization and say, "Uhhhhh this isn't my bag! I took the wrong luggage!"
Considering Dulles is a good half an hour drive from downtown D.C. it was a good thing that I noticed before we left the airport but I'm still a little panicky. What if the other party took my bag without realizing it? What if we have to swap bags? My dad takes the bag and goes back inside. He finds my bag sitting forlornly on the luggage carousel. He returned the luggage I mistakenly took to the counter, though no one was standing around waiting for it. So I got my bag back with as little hassle as possible.
I just...know better! I don't know how I turned all brain dead all of a sudden as soon as I left San Francisco but there it is. Nowhere near together, you guys, nowhere near...
Friday, February 10, 2012
Playing The Game
Do you know that getting hired is a more formal, ridiculous dance than Victorian era courtship? Do you want to guess how utterly reluctant I am to play this game? You probably don't have to try very hard to imagine that I absolutely loathe the whole the thing.
Monday, October 31, 2011
Hate Having Feelings
One of my beloved LSU football players tweeted the title of this post. And I totally agreed. I hate having feelings too! But I do. They exist. Somewhere beneath my well-cultivated, but totally porous, exoskeleton, there they are. And I can't always bury them deep enough, as much as my repressed Irish Catholic self would like that. So instead I'm burying them after the jump. Because I can't afford therapy.
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
Day 3: Irrational Anger
If 2 days ago was lay (lie?) sob on the floor panic day and yesterday was giddy happy because you can't cry anymore and belief in the zen of the universe then today is "I'm so angry I want to kick a puppy or punch a wall or throw something, I wish I wasn't too old to have a temper tantrum in the middle of the grocery store (even though I didn't even GO to a grocery store today)" day. We'll call these the stages of it being two weeks away from the bar exam.
I am an irrationally angry little monkey today. (Why an always an angry monkey? Because angry bunny doesn't have the same ring to it?) (Hey! We're back to an overuse of parentheticals. Awesome.)
I'm just...there aren't words. Just blind range. Example: I have this stainless camelback water bottle with a straw and for reasons beyond my understanding (probably physics) sometimes when I pop the top on the straw lid thing it just spits water everywhere. Today that led me to violently shaking the bottle 'til it stopped spitting water, but ending up with water drops all down my jeans, and then I tossed the bottle across the room. It's still there, on its side, on the floor. Totally rational response, right?
I got mad, irrationally of course, at the whole process today. For having to sit through a professional responsibility outline AGAIN. I say again because you take a class in PR with a final, you take the MPRE which is required by all states as a component of the bar, and then it's on the motherf*cking bar too. So this is the 3rd time I'm being forced to remind myself the basic rule is: Don't f*ck your clients, and don't f*ck your clients money. (Which isn't even the rule. In CA sleeping with your clients is totally legit so long as you're not bribing them with sex to be a good lawyer. Yay CA!) Let's point out the sheer oxymoronic-ness of LEGAL ETHICS while we're at it (oh, I make lawyer jokes too, folks).
I got angry that there was no dinner. That there is no food in this house despite the fact that I KEEP BUYING IT. That people can't replace the few things that I do buy after THEY eat them. I shoved Swedish fish in my face that I didn't even really want. I got angry that I wasn't even hungry to begin with so why did I care? I got angry that my mother wanted to talk to me. And then that she pointed out that I was cranky today. "Nooo. Really??? I hadn't noticed." (I didn't say that. I just said, "Yep" and she said, "At least you recognize it.") Angry that the dog wanted to play. I want to claw my skin off. I want the Corp outline to stop saying "Unless agreed to otherwise or stated in the bylaws" after every expletive expletive expletive sentence! I want my Mac which is JUST pass warranty to stop running like a bitch. I should probably go run. But if I leave the house I fear this will lead to me running the car into something just out of the sheerest curiosity of what will happen.
So it's a banner day up in this bitch. AND I can't even force myself to angry study. Gritting my teeth, sighing through it, gonna be better tomorrow...
BUT! I have devised a post bar drinking game: I'm bringing the CMR to whatever bar I end up at on that Friday night and we're passing the book around and flipping to random pages. The page you land on? Have to drink as many times as the word reasonable appears (don't even get me started on how much I hate the word...meaningless word...reasonable). My bets are on everyone being black out drunk two hours after we start.
Oh. And even I realize that mostly I'm mad at myself for even having to do this again and for not even doing it particularly better this time than last time. I'm gonna go scream into my pillow.
Alcohol might be nice right about now...
I am an irrationally angry little monkey today. (Why an always an angry monkey? Because angry bunny doesn't have the same ring to it?) (Hey! We're back to an overuse of parentheticals. Awesome.)
I'm just...there aren't words. Just blind range. Example: I have this stainless camelback water bottle with a straw and for reasons beyond my understanding (probably physics) sometimes when I pop the top on the straw lid thing it just spits water everywhere. Today that led me to violently shaking the bottle 'til it stopped spitting water, but ending up with water drops all down my jeans, and then I tossed the bottle across the room. It's still there, on its side, on the floor. Totally rational response, right?
I got mad, irrationally of course, at the whole process today. For having to sit through a professional responsibility outline AGAIN. I say again because you take a class in PR with a final, you take the MPRE which is required by all states as a component of the bar, and then it's on the motherf*cking bar too. So this is the 3rd time I'm being forced to remind myself the basic rule is: Don't f*ck your clients, and don't f*ck your clients money. (Which isn't even the rule. In CA sleeping with your clients is totally legit so long as you're not bribing them with sex to be a good lawyer. Yay CA!) Let's point out the sheer oxymoronic-ness of LEGAL ETHICS while we're at it (oh, I make lawyer jokes too, folks).
I got angry that there was no dinner. That there is no food in this house despite the fact that I KEEP BUYING IT. That people can't replace the few things that I do buy after THEY eat them. I shoved Swedish fish in my face that I didn't even really want. I got angry that I wasn't even hungry to begin with so why did I care? I got angry that my mother wanted to talk to me. And then that she pointed out that I was cranky today. "Nooo. Really??? I hadn't noticed." (I didn't say that. I just said, "Yep" and she said, "At least you recognize it.") Angry that the dog wanted to play. I want to claw my skin off. I want the Corp outline to stop saying "Unless agreed to otherwise or stated in the bylaws" after every expletive expletive expletive sentence! I want my Mac which is JUST pass warranty to stop running like a bitch. I should probably go run. But if I leave the house I fear this will lead to me running the car into something just out of the sheerest curiosity of what will happen.
So it's a banner day up in this bitch. AND I can't even force myself to angry study. Gritting my teeth, sighing through it, gonna be better tomorrow...
BUT! I have devised a post bar drinking game: I'm bringing the CMR to whatever bar I end up at on that Friday night and we're passing the book around and flipping to random pages. The page you land on? Have to drink as many times as the word reasonable appears (don't even get me started on how much I hate the word...meaningless word...reasonable). My bets are on everyone being black out drunk two hours after we start.
Oh. And even I realize that mostly I'm mad at myself for even having to do this again and for not even doing it particularly better this time than last time. I'm gonna go scream into my pillow.
Alcohol might be nice right about now...
Friday, January 28, 2011
Things I Think While Studying: Vampire Edition
This is SO completely stupid but, well, this is where my brain went why I was trying to care about crim pro today. Enjoy the complete inanity. Hey, it can't be all high minded all the time!
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