I once had a high school friend ask me why I wrote. I pointed out that if I didn't, I'm pretty sure I would go insane. So for the next week, expect lots of writing so as to keep my brain from dwelling on that thing that's not happening on Friday.
It's unfortunate that this not thinking about thing is coupled with what is a lackluster weekend in college football (other than the continued implosion of Auburn at the hands of the Cam Newton scandal and hoping they lose to The Dawgs). LSU has homecoming which means we play a crap non-conference opponent to get a big W for all the alumni in town.
I am looking forward to next Saturday and doing a little shindig for the LSU v Ole Miss game wherein we will not discuss that thing that didn't happen the preceding day. Denial, not just a river in Egypt. Note to self: buy more vodka for jello shots.
So I might have to combine writing with one of my other favorite fall/winter past times: baking. I usually save this for closer to Christmas, but as I am out of town from pretty much Nov 24-Dec 10, I can get an early jump on it. And my mom has been bugging me to make my white chocolate, macadamia, cranberry cookies. I just might indulge her. I'm scouring the magazines for new recipes. It might be an epic year for my baking skills. Already thinking of throwing an appetizers, desserts and cocktails holiday party. It's been a while since I've entertained and feel completely let down by not getting to throw the big party this year. (That link has limited access, from my old blog, that started a shit storm. If you want access, email me, happy to grant it.)
I will also be working out like mad. Because something funny happened when I wrote the big declaration of a blog yesterday: I was suddenly completely and totally at peace with it all. I was like, "Yeah. This is the right decision. This is good for me." And for the first time in a long time I wasn't terrified by the future but kind of excited about it. I watched Speed and Angels again, thought more and more about the "fight for it" motto and decided I needed to take even more steps towards my goals. So I started by taking an internet break and actually READING one of the New Yorkers that are scattered all over my room. I know, right?! I figured I should start with getting my brain back in fighting shape, after the five month vacation it has taken since the bar exam. I also know that I need this body to be way better than it is. I didn't go for an out doors walk today like I had intended, no particular reason, just totally lame, but will make up for it with some kick ass Friday night gym activity. Note: as nerdy and lame as going to the gym on a Friday night can feel, it's also kind of empowering because, "Yeah, I'm doing this instead of drinking beer, what of it?" Also: it's mostly empty, which is nice. (Okay, those all might be slight rationalizations. I'd rather be out causing some mayhem.)
I now get to be tortured by living at home past an acceptable age with the oil to my water brother coming over for dinner and them wanting to plan out our Hawaii vacation. Which, frankly, they've mostly already planned out, much to my annoyance. Anyone know of any amazing museums there I can torture them with? Do I have to keep my "Drink lots of mai tais and make out with hot island guys/military personnel" plan to myself? Yes, I'm being a brat about going to Hawaii. Feel free to smack me. Also feel free to get to know my mom, stepdad and brother before wanting to smack me.
Sigh. I love my family, I do (I always make that caveat, don't I?), but for freaks sake. I am traveling with a woman who walked around Paris waiving her hand in front of her face going, "*cough cough cough* what is WITH all the smoke?" Dear god woman, it's PARIS. This is what they do! These people are the kind of people who are super excited about planning travel to the Ala Moana mall. Going to the mall! In Hawaii! I'm going to need a ton of alone time. And plenty of cocktails to not lose my mind. I think I'm dragging everyone to Pearl Harbor, the same way I made them visit Harvard's campus the day after we spent THE ENTIRE day at Fenway. We had to tour Fenway, but they bitched about me taking pictures of the library at Harvard.
Okay, I'm gonna try and be positive now. Try try try try. Thank god for technology, alcohol, and the ability to walk the hell away from them all.
I mean, because really, I'm spending Thanksgiving in Hawaii. And eating here a few days after. Be jealous. Be very jealous.
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