Saturday, December 18, 2010

It's in the stars...

It's rainy in San Francisco. Like really really rainy. Like we're supposed to get 5" by Sunday (that's what she said. [Sorry, that felt necessary]). Which is kinda nice. It makes my staying in the house that much more acceptable. It makes dragging my ass to the gym that much more difficult. My plan is to bake. A lot. So if you would like some cookies, hit me up.

However, I'm getting that BNBD itch. It's been a whopping two weeks plus (since Thanksgiving)! That's some sort of record, isn't it? Besides, I need to get this out of my system before the end of the year! The new year brings resolutions and bar study. Wheee!

My horoscope, which I read weekly, seems to concur with the going out thing:

In the TV comedy series "Arrested Development," Buster Bluth was an adult character who was a bit over-attached to his mother. It seemed to have to do with the fact that he lingered in her womb for 11 months before agreeing to be born. The obstetrician claimed "there were claw marks on her uterus." I want to be sure you don't make a comparable misstep in the coming weeks, Cancerian. It really is time for you to come out and play. Ready or not, leave your protective sanctuary and leap into the jangly, enchanting tumult.

How awesome is that horoscope? An Arrested Development reference? Pretty awesome.

But I decided to "displace" my BNBD urges and have been just killing it at the gym instead. I'm resisting because, well, I'm broke and tired of waking up with a remorse. Stupid sinus issues and all, I go to the gym. It feels good. I just wish change were more immediate. I am not a patient person. However, I will try to embrace that sentiment and maybe get out and do some stuff that ISN'T all BNBD.

Anyway, some house keeping stuff: the blog is about to get REALLY boring. Today in the mail I got both my admission ticket for the February bar and my returned blue books from failing the July bar. WHEEEEE! SO MUCH FUN! (I also got a Christmas card from my ex's parents. It was a banner day for the mail.) As such, I am not going to have much to say as I go down the rabbit hole of suckitude that is re-learning 16 areas of law. SO EXCITED! HAPPY FACE! DANCE DANCE!

But I had a thought: I have a defunct blog with some pretty good writing on it. Imma repost some of my favorites over here to keep you, all six of you or whatever, entertained. Starting with a Christmas post. They will also be updated and slightly altered but unless you read my old blog, you won't know that. Everything old is new again!

A list of my all time favorite Christmas movies/shows:

1. A Charlie Brown Christmas. It's genius. With genius music. Who among us hasn't at some point lost a little of the Christmas spirit due to crass commercialism and forgetting that on this day a star guided the way for a family to Bethlehem? Fine, Big Bang Theory will tell you about how Christians reinterpreted pagan holidays (true), but mangers and sheep and three kings still are an important part of the mythos. (Even if as a lapsed Catholic I haven't been to church in forever.) And it has Snoopy dancing. True story: once upon a time I thought about getting a tattoo of Snoopy dancing. You know: this. Why? Because as someone who can often be morose, no matter what mood I'm in the sight of Snoopy dancing makes me crack a smile. It's just so ridiculously goofy! So I thought: If I get a tattoo of that and I'm in a crappy mood, I need only look at my tattoo. Obviously I didn't do this, it's ridiculous. And cartoon character tattoos are only slightly below sports logo tattoos, of which I already have one. But seriously, watch this and try not to giggle. It's impossible.

2. Have you ever watched all of It's a Wonderful Life? Like really watched it? It's actually not a Christmas movie. It's a commentary on the average man and hopelessness but somehow got turned into a Christmas movie. It's existential crisis. And it is amazing.

I had a class in high school called Fiction to Film. And it was a hard class. (Seriously, I can't tell you how much more difficult high school was than undergrad.) But I rocked it because I love movies. I mean, I saw Citizen Kane when I was ten. I hate Citizen Kane. I get it, top 100 movie and all, great editing and montages, etc. blah blah blah. But at 10, when you find out what Rosebud is? You are bitterly disappointed.

Anyway, in my high school class we had to write a paper on the directorial style of a particular director. I chose Billy Wilder. We actually watched It's a Wonderful Life in class and analyzed it (hey, it was hard! I didn't say it wasn't fun too.) I watched a ton of Wilder films and now know them as soon as I see them even if I don't already know he directed them (Sabrina). I wish I still had that paper, I bet it was good. (Re-reading this I realize it is an irrelevant reference because the movie was directed by Capra, not Wilder. I don't know how I could have gotten this confused.)

Point being: It's a Wonderful Life is a hugely touching, well directed, well acted movie that will, undoubtably, remind you of what is important in life. Watch it. All of it. Oh, and for those of you of the Sesame Street generation (all of us), the film gave us the characters Burt and Ernie. For serious.

3. Serendipity. This movie is probably why the only times I have ever been to NYC are around the holidays and why I love the hell out of that city at that time of year. Again, not a holiday movie per se, but just a sweet romance. Probably my most surprising memory of this movie is we were discussing it recently and my brother said, "I love that movie." I thought he was being sarcastic and mocking me. (He does that. All. The. Time.) I was all, "Yeah, sure, whatever. No one is going to make you like romances." And he got all defensive. "No! Really! I like it!" I was shocked. The neanderthal likes the light hearted holiday romance? Hmm. Who knew? It actually got brought up again last night, my parents were watching it on TV, and my mom again mentioned her surprise that Doug likes that movie. It just doesn't fit with what we generally know about my brother. I am also a fan of going to Serendipity 3 in NYC. It's ridiculous and touristy and wonderful. Right near Bloomingdales. Sigh. I miss you NYC!

4. Home for the Holidays. Ever been tortured by your family and had a series of not funny mishaps while at home? You've lived this movie. Probably more than once. Repressed, uptight, martyr of a sister? Check. Crazy free wheeling brother? Check. Whacky aunt? Check. Mother who doesn't understand you at all? CHECK! I maintain that the mother/daughter relationship, for whatever reason and I have no idea why, is the most complicated relationship in the universe. I guarantee more hours have been spent in therapy all over the world figuring out this one than any other thing in people's lives. This somehow becomes exponential at the holidays. The texts from Sarah and my own increasing frustrations right now seem to confirm my hypothesis.

Sorry, total digression. Point is: I love this movie, it makes me laugh, in that totally uncomfortable way you laugh at, say, The Office.

5. Mixed Nuts. I haven't seen this movie in forever. It's ridiculous farce and I am a fan of the run all over the place ridiculous farce. And a fan of Steve Martin who used to be on my older hot guy list because he makes me laugh (pre-too much face work). And has a degree in philosophy, being quite possibly the only person to ever get rich with a philosophy degree.

6. After the Thin Man. It's my list so I can stretch it. If you haven't seen any of the Thin Man movies, you are sorely missing out. Giving you the names Nick and Nora, later stolen by a pajama company and a crappy teen movie, these crime movies are full of the witty banter and bon mots that were parlayed into The Gilmore Girls. You think we talk fast now? Watch a movie from 40 years ago and try and keep up. (Same goes for Arsenic and Old Lace and Harvey, two other movies I adore.) Nick and Nora Charles are in SF trying to solve a New Years Eve murder which is sorely interrupting former police detective Nick's plans to drink as many martinis as humanly possible. It's clever and funny and set in old school SF. This film is also responsible for my desire to make my next dog a Wire Haired Fox Terrier and name it Asta. I still might keep the name because we probably won't be getting a fox terrier, I like it.

7. White Christmas. A remake of a movie Bing Crosby made only a few years prior called Holiday Inn. (Me: full of the useless information. Not wikiing either, just know this shit. Too many nights spent watching AMC while in high school while everyone else was at kegs in The Grove) Dancing, singing, overwrought patriotism. George Clooney's aunt Rosemary singing Count Your Blessings, which is a phenomenal song. What's not to love? Those outfits too!

8. A Miracle on 34th Street. Once again NYC is one of the stars. Starting with the Thanksgiving Day Parade, a child (played by Natalie Wood) too young to already be jaded doesn't believe in Santa Clause because of her bitter, divorced, working mother (shocker. Played by Maureen O'Hara who I adore) has her world rocked by meeting Kris Kringle (the wonderful Edmund Gwenn). And Kris teaches us the real meaning of Christmas by offering up truth and hope against commercialism at Macy's. He helps Maureen find love and Natalie a family. And at the end, everyone believes again! It warms the cold cockles of my hardened lawyer heart. Do not watch it in color and do not watch the remake.

9. Elf. I hate Will Ferrell. I do. I don't find him funny at all. But when directed by Jon Favreau (not the president's speech writer, the other one) in a holiday vehicle? He's awesome. His childlike infectiousness actually has a purpose. The adorable Zooey Deschanel, a crumudgeounly James Caan, and an awesome Ed Asner and Bob Newhart? Sing loud for all to hear!

10. TNT in an inspiration of marketing genius and to fill boring holiday air time when people aren't in front of a TV decided to air 24 hours of A Christmas Story. I have no recall of this movie coming out or being in theaters but I think every last one of us knows this movie by heart at this point. It is poignant and holds a lot of truisms and has offered up some great lines. Forget "You'll shoot your eye out!" Give me, "Fa ra ra ra ra!" and "Fragggeeeelllleeee. It must be Italian!" And at some point, with it on in the background, I will see the whole movie. Not necessarily in it's intended order.

11. New for 2010: I mentioned the other day that for whatever reason, that the Yes, Virginia there is a Santa Claus letter makes me bawl like a baby. I watched the cartoon version the other night. And I bawled like a baby. (Yeah yeah yeah, I'm not the bad ass I'd like to be seen as. I know.) In analyzing this I would say being reminded of innocence and joy and hope because I can be so very very cynical. I guess. I dunno. Open to other interpretations...

Honorable mentions:

The original Home Alone. The aftershave scene alone is worth the price of admission.

Mickey Mouse's A Christmas Carol. What do you mean it's a Dickens novel? I had no idea of this until I was in high school.

Every single last Hallmark Channel or Lifetime cheesy ass holiday movie I've watched this season.

And now I am off to finish making my deviled eggs so I can park myself in front of the TV and watch some of these classics. (From last year. Reapply this year. Holiday bake-a-thon 2010 is about to get under way!)

1 comment:

  1. Blast from the past blog was nice. Glad you updated it. Not looking forward to bar study as who knows if you'll be free to write or not.

    Also, I think you should DEFINITELY get the Snoopy dancing tattoo! That is one of the coolest reasons for getting a tattoo, and who gives a fuck what people think? I think I want a Snoopy tattoo now. Maybe Snoopy and Linus.