CANCER (June 21-July 22): Writing in the *Journal of Medical Ethics,*
psychologist Richard Bentall proposed that happiness be reclassified as a
"psychiatric disorder" -- a pathology that should be treated with therapy.
"Happiness is statistically abnormal," he argued. It "consists of a discrete
cluster of symptoms, is associated with a range of cognitive
abnormalities, and probably reflects the abnormal functioning of the
central nervous system." If he's correct, Cancerian, you may have a
problem. According to my reading of the astrological omens, you're about
to be besieged by a massive influx of good feelings. It may be hard for
you to fend off surges of unreasonable joy, well-being, and gratitude. So
let me ask you: Are you prepared to enter into rebel mode as you flaunt
your abnormal bliss?
What does it say about me that that totally freaks me out? I'm definitely one of those waiting for the other shoe to drop types. "Okay. What's the catch?" I am naturally suspicious and untrusting by nature (I blame this entirely on my parents profession). I'm trying not to be. I'm trying to just enjoy everything coming up Millhouse (a reference that Andy had to explain to me, because I am not cool enough to have an entire lifetime of Simpsons references stuck in my brain. Whatever. I'll survive. However, that reference left me wondering if he knew the origins as "Everything's Coming Up Roses" which I almost titled this post, except that that song is actually sad and sort of pathetic when taken in context. And yeah, I know Gypsy and not The Simpsons. This probably explains...nothing).
Also: please please please let that massive happiness carry through to the weekend of May 13th. Just, ya know, fingers crossed. Advice I gave that got thrown back at me re: that: "It does not define who you are. It's in GODS hands now." (That last part is meant ironically.) And I'm mostly at terms with the results. I'm still not checking. Though: I'd still rather be a pass than a fail. I do have pride too, ya know?
Anyway: I got the check for my first ever writing gig in the mail yesterday. I haven't seen it, as it's at my mom's house and I'm decidedly not, but I will take pictures of it. Paid! To write! Who knew?! I mean, it's not make a living/pay down student loan debt money. But it's buy shoes I don't really need, and hockey t-shirts for a team that is now eliminated, continue drinking money. I'm cool with that.
And that gig begot another gig which begot ANOTHER gig. Wha?! (This means I should probably stop writing about the nothingness of my days and work on the paid assignments. Maybe? Perhaps?)
I've been at the beach house since Saturday. I have driven my car exactly once in that time, which was last night when I was too exhausted to walk the four blocks to procure Dr Pepper and ice cream. (Shut up, I did a 6 mile hike/walk/jog yesterday. More walking than jogging but I figure as long as I jog a little I'm calling it a jog.) I went to Target today but more because I had to move my car for street cleaning than any real desire to go to Target. The weather has been unexpectedly fantastic and I am again thinking about actually relocating here. It's just...ya know...? I would also like to thank the German Jewish side of the family for the ability to tan and not being pasty white and prone to burning like my mom and brother. I look goooood right now. Which has me contemplating buying a cute summer dress. That I'll be able to wear a grand total of 4 times all summer in SF.
I also saw Top Gun in a theater for it's 25th (!!!) anniversary. By frame of reference, I never saw it in a movie the first time. And I actually think it was one of those movies my mom FORBADE us from seeing. But I vividly remember the cool older neighbor girl (I think Alli is 6 years older than me) having the movie poster in her room and I was always a little jealous. It must have been imprinted on me because you should know by now that this is my default 2 a.m. half drunk movie. I watched it in college ALL the time. I know most lines by heart. My brother and I, when getting along, can recite I'd bet almost the whole movie. This trait was passed down to my stepsister. It's a thing. We went and saw it in the theater for Alexis' birthday. People laughed through the whole thing. I mean, it's a ridiculously cheesy movie. You just have to appreciate it for that. The dialogue is pretty stilted and the homoerotic undertones are palpable the older you get and understand what "homoerotic undertones" means. It's still awesome. I don't care what you say.
But like I said, people were into seeing this. I opened one of Lex's bottles of champagne in the theater. I was pretty proud of myself. The group behind us had a bottle of something they were putting in their cokes. It was all pretty damn festive and fun. Cheering at the opening credits, no one minding that most of us talked through the whole thing. I'd say lines to Lex before they happened and she'd just laugh. (My favorite is when Hollywood leans over and says, "This gives me a hard on.") I'm really glad I got to do that. It was combined with a happy hour so I sort of thought that maybe we'd just end up hanging at the bar and never make it to the movie. But we did. Good freaking time.
So I'm feeling good. Cautiously good. Which makes for boring posting. Sorry.
*I would like to add that
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