Sunday, May 8, 2011


Oh hey, remember perfect for me guy and the he actually lives in L.A. thing that I was ignoring because he was gonna be up here on business 'til July and that was just enough time to make him fall madly in love with me and this city and never want to leave ever? Yeah. Apparently July meant "next week".

THIS IS WHY YOU CAN'T HAVE NICE THINGS, LISA! This is why I play things close to the vest. This is why I don't like people. This is why I have ridiculous superstitions and fear the jinx. Because they happen. They freaking happen. And now I feel a little bit destroyed.

And no, not destroyed in the "omg I was madly in love and now!" way. Please. I have an iota of common sense. This has been two weeks and seeing each other twice (we hung out last night, long story, seriously irrelevant at this point). Trust that I have some check on being ridiculous about guys. In fact, too much of a check. The disinterest. The way that I treat them as disposable objects the way that the media has taught us men treat women. I do that. I purposefully went around NOT developing attachments. So it was odd that for the first time in ever I wanted to see where something was gonna go. I wanted to watch it unfold and was excited at the mere possibility.

And now...

So I feel a bit leveled.

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