Saturday, June 18, 2011


It's been a long time since I've live blogged drinking. (Hawaii at Thanksgiving is the last time, if I recall, and that didn't make a blog...but oh! How it could have!) So. Since I am home "alone" drinking, I figured, eh, why not? It'll bring some levity. (I put alone in quotes because if it's on the internet, it's not REALLY alone, now is it?)

I was hungry. Kinda. And depressed. Kinda. So I went to the amazing corner store. (See that? Five yelp stars. That's fucking legit. Place is awesome. We know the owner. He is awesome.) I bought two bottles of Spanish cava at $8 each because I couldn't find the prosecco. It's pretty damn good. I bought my favorite cheese EVER, which costs almost as much as the 2 bottles of cava. A Semifreddi seeded baguette. A Columbus special series salami, some raspberries that were on sale and stuff for breakfast tomorrow (I'm a panner). Typing all that and I realize I am California as fuck. I may have my issues with this city/state but I just went to the corner produce store and bought all Bay Area produced items (aside from the cava) and they are effing delicious. If I had to go back to strip malls and chain restaurants exclusively, I'd likely slit my wrists.

I got in so much trouble for this particular proclivity in college. "What do you mean you've never been to an Olive Garden?" "You guys know that's not REALLY Italian food, right?" They didn't. I did. I felt sad for them. I just opened Yelp which defaulted to Gainseville, due to a friend, and I almost cried. You poor poor people who don't know better. (See what I did there? I'm shaming you. You will come to San Francisco, oh yes, you will. You will get over your cheapness and say "What the fuck?" and realize there is a whole world that needs your exploration. And I can show it to you cuz I am awesome and well connected. And it'll be cheap! Because despite hating it here, we know people. Wait 'til we go to Allegro...)

The above mentioned items are dinner. It also reminds me heavily of eating in the gardens in Paris...but I'll forego that particular tangent for the moment.

In the meantime, since I can't wash my perfect hair, I'm gonna use the giant tub and take a bath and continue to drink cava.

Oh! I should mention: I am beach house sitting. That's where my big dogs are, the house has an open floor plan, and I am at peace here, even though I haven't left all day. If you would like to check it out, I am making blueberry pancakes in the morning and if you bring bacon you are welcome to join.

Updates soon...

8:08 bathtub champagne > shower beer. The giant bathtub we have here is amazing. And relaxing. Ahhhh.

8:33 I put on clothes and makeup. Just in case. Maybe. Ya know. I'm 3/4 of the way done with the first bottle of cava. I'm trying to pace myself. This has never been my strong suit. My stepsister was online for a blip of a second. I miss her. As part of the family you make and not those you are born with, my stepsis is amazeballs. Flawed and human like me but amazeballs. And whenever someone notices the piece of art in my dad's house that is the decopage cowboy saying, "Uh oh! Here comes trouble!" I laugh because her and I turned it into a mantra and a drink (bicardi limon and tonic) and a way of life.

8:36 I told others about this but: I bought my dad a father's day card and See's peanut brittle (his favorite). On the outside the card says, "Daddy's Girl". On the inside, with hearts and in script, it says, "And proud of it!" I inscribed it with, "Thanks for setting the bar so incredibly high that it guarantees I'll be single forever. No. Really. Thanks." I mean, the man KNOWS he is cool. He is like my brother in that respect. Fire signs the both of them. He loves attention and adoration. But because I am so effing stingy with compliments, it means a lot coming from me. He also calls me the smartest person he knows. Sure sure, he's biased. But he also knows some smart people. People that don't know him know he's awesome. Linds met him and was immediately smitten in the awe way. Mutual admiration society, that. So yeah. Once in awhile I let him know that I know that he's cool. Rock on, dad.

8:56 I was playing with Maverick last night (large headed pitbull) when I caught my left pointer finger knuckle on his tooth. Holy giant bruise today, batman! Which of COURSE I keep bashing because I'm that kind of graceful human being. Sometimes I underestimate just how large and tough he is. Remind me not to do that. But I do lurve him.

9:01. Y'allll. You should see the ocean beach sunset right now. All pink and purple and gorgeous ridiculousness. Sigh.

9:09 Holy balls. Stateless's Bloodstream (amazing song) on my Pandora and a pink purple sunset? Even all this fog has its upsides.

9:17 I killed the first bottle. I am trying not to open the second until 9:30. I played with the dog, I checked out the sunset. I put on some lotion. It was a Philosophy sample and it smells AMAZING on me. I want to buy a full bottle of it. So I checked out the name. Unconditional love? Fuck you, winds of fate. Fuck you very hard.

9:20 Baking soda. So, men don't know this, but: when you can't wash your hair it gets really greasy. That you might know. But I wash my hair every day, usually. I can't wash it today because when you get your hair colored, even when it just means going back to your "natural" color (I have no idea what my natural color is besides brunette), you have to let it set. So I can't wash my hair today. Which is driving me batty. Well another thing you learn at summer camp or wherever is that if you put baby powder in your greasy hair, it absorbs the grease and makes your hair look less awful. I'm at my dad's house. He is bald. He does not have any hair products. I needed something and went to the cupboard to get some flour when I saw the baking soda first. It's an absorbant, right? So I put that in my hair. Do not add vinegar, I will explode. Fun facts.

9:28 About my dad (again. Father's day odes!): I was watching Easy A again the other night (watch it, it's amazing) and I mentioned how the Stanley Tucci character who plays the dad just GETS me because it is so my dad. Doesn't hurt that my bald headed dad has more than a passing resemblance to Tucci. I also heard Spoon's "I Turn my Camera On" on my pandora station and couldn't help think of Veronica Mars. If you haven't seen it, go now, watch it all. It's on Netflix instant. I promise, you won't regret it. I am not generally ahead of the curve in anything ever but that? I was an early adopter of the badass Nancy Drew. And part of what I loved was the her and her dad relationship. Cuz it so reminded me of me and my dad. More waxing poetic: I lived with my dad for most of high school and not my mom. Our relationship has its rocky points, sure (see: the Susan era) and he can be a colossal ass when he wants to be but...he's amazeballs. Just don't tell him I said that or it would only go to enforce his ego. Which he has enough of.

9:37 I couldn't figure out why there is no DVD of Top Gun here when I realized it was mine and I took it back to my house. D'oh!

10:09 Were you worried about me? I got stuck in some IM conversations. Feel free to IM me someday, I love real time talk. And listening to my Pandora station. So. Yeah. Still drinking.

10:28 Pixies "Where is my mind", the second bottle of sparkling whine, and conversations about "funset" and the meaning of a sexual identity. Yeah.

10:47 Ummmm. I'm kinda drunk. And talking on IM to amazing friends. And the tweets. And drunk. Not drunkity drunk druk yet. But almost...

11:20 Y'all are amazing and I love you and I love the conversations. IM me. No, seriously, do it. In that vein I realized that no one had really "seen me" so: A PICTURE!

That's me! In case you ever wondered. With my fancy salon hair.
I was vamping for the camera. Cuz I'm awesome. 

1:30 a.m. Sometimes it being late and you being drunk works to your advantage. Other times, you end up bawling into your bowl of Cheerios. Imma go do the latter...

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