Sunday, April 17, 2011

As an aside...

I had a very long, very fun, and also very very bizarre weekend. I'm too exhausted, yes, even on this Sunday afternoon to get into it right this second but thought I would share this little story to keep you (and myself) entertained as I watch the Canucks/Blackhawks game:

When we were younger, my brother, for reasons I have no insight into, had a Chicago Blackhawks hat. It had a black bill and the Indian head logo on an otherwise white baseball hat. He LOVED this baseball hat. (Aside to the aside: my brother's first tattoo, of many many tattoos, again for reasons I don't know, was an Indian head. Very pretty, very well done, but, uh, other than rumors that run through most families with a Southern background that we may have some native american blood, it didn't really make a lot of sense. What? Why that? I'm wondering if deep down in his psyche and his love of that Blackhawks hat is why. Hmmm...)

Because he loved that baseball hat and it was white, it was disgusting. And no amount of begging would get him to wash that hat. I don't know how long he had that hat but it seemed like years and he wore it all the time. I should mention that we live in San Francisco, had never been to Chicago at this point in our lives, and only tangentially knew what the hell hockey even was. And yet: constant wearing of the 'Hawks hat. (I just asked my mom about the hat at dinner. She laughed and said, "He wore it ALL. THE. TIME! It was disgusting!")

At one point we went rafting on the American River while he wore this hat, he got dunked many a times, hat and all. And it remained disgusting.

My dad and his...she'll later be my ex stepmother but we'll just call her Susan...had their usual on-off tumultuous relationship all through this period. And it seemed like whenever they were off, she would go buy some animal to fill the void left by her lack of a relationship. So at one point during their off period, she went and got a lhasa apso. When they eventually, inevitably, got back together, the dog ends up at our house most of the time. When they eventually actually break up again, dad keeps the dog. This is a pattern and will eventually mean the introduction of our bulldogs much later. But for now: lhasa apso. We are a family of large dog owners. We had pitbulls and huskies and golden retrievers all through my childhood. So this ankle biter was a new thing.

I found him kind of adorable but I love a vast majority of dogs. He was napoleonic. Tiny but fiery. When you know that they were bred as Tibetan guard dogs, it sort of makes sense.

My brother and this dog HATED each other. My brother is not as good with animals as I am (much better than I am with children though). All of our animals seemingly don't like him. Our American bulldog used to bark endlessly at him. Our dog now took a nip at his knee the other day when herding him out of the house. But him and Bear (that was the lhasa's name)? It was warfare. My brother would walk around swearing at the dog, kick him out of his room. The dog would nip at his ankles. One time dog got on his bed when he wasn't home and peed on his down comforter. As an observer, their mutual dislike was fairly freaking comical.

And then.

The dog ate his Blackhawks hat.

It. Ate. His. Hat.

He didn't destroy it, but he gnawed off enough of the bill that it wasn't really fashionable to wear it anymore.

I'll add that the dog never destroyed anybody else's anything. Never went into my room and took anything, generally left me alone. So trust me, he targeted my brother's hat.

D threw the hat away after that. And to my knowledge has never owned anything else with a Blackhawks logo since then.

It still cracks me up to think about the end of that freaking hat.

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