Monday, February 7, 2011

Freak Out

I'm in full on freak out mode over here. Panic has done set in.

The thought process of descent into insanity goes something like this "Omg! I can't do this! There is no way! This is impossible! OMG! OMG! OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG! I'm just gonna slit my wrists because this is all fucking hopeless. (Do not alert authorities, it is hyperbole.) And I still don't even have a computer to TAKE the test on and is my hotel okay and booked on the right days? And is it really close? What am I gonna eat when in Sacramento? Doesn't matter! Not even hungry! Never eating again! Too much anxiety! ANXIETY! I'm just gonna pound 5 hour energies and Dr Pepper and handfuls of Crispix and stay awake for the next two weeks (TWO WEEKS!!!) straight! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" SO. MUCH. FUN.

I couldn't sleep last night and yet was still awake at 7:30 this morning, something, despite my best efforts, I could not overcome.

I figure I'll try something new this time: usually when I freak out I just pull the covers up over my head and pray it will all go away. It's not the most effective coping mechanism. (Nooo, really? You don't say!) (Insanity is also denoted by an overuse of my already overuse of parentheticals.) This time I'm gonna channel that anxiety into actual effort and work on studying.

In fact, when I couldn't sleep last night I fired up the computer and did multiple choice. I got 5 out of 5 right in crim. VICTORY! And then promptly sucked at real property and evidence (hearsay. I hate hearsay). Guhhh.

Related: I am leaving behind the tweets for the next two weeks (TWO WEEKS OMFG TWO WEEKS!) because no one, me included, wants to hear me whine about the bar. It's a distraction I don't need. Not that it matters. For serious. No one cares. Gawsh, Lisa. Enough already. But I felt compelled to mention it. (I follow all these sports writers who come Sunday night tweet about To Catch a Predator and I can't not read them but get sooo mad at myself for reading them. If only there were twitter filters where like you didn't see people when it's not football season. Anyway.) I will also be blogging with less frequency. Probably. Who knows.

The bar? It's bullshit. Everyone who has ever done it KNOWS it's bullshit. But. That doesn't make it avoidable. Or less scary. Or less evil. I am headed straight for it. Whhhhhheeeee!

Imma go study corporations now. With a raging sinus headache that makes me want to kill people. (Lovin' life today, oh yes, we are.)

I'll be back in three weeks after the bar. Fuuuuuuuuuuuuucccccccckkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk

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