Monday, February 14, 2011

Things we think when we're (pretending) studying. Part Whatever

1. My stepdad wins most annoying person of the year award. He is in the kitchen. Making dinner. WHY YES! It IS only 3 p.m. I have heard brass bands operate more quietly than he navigates his way around the kitchen. MUST you slam every cabinet door? Rattle through the utensils like a kid banging on pots? Drop just about everything with a clang on the floor?

Note: it is a general pet peeve of mine to be around people who can't efficiently move around the kitchen/time things to all be done at the same time/understand the difference between sauteing and sweating. Yes, I'm from San Francisco, I win at food snobbery. Not a FOODIE, which is douche hipster term (as Beth will attest to) but a food SNOB.

I also know how to cook and take pride in that skill of mine. (I may not win at pretty, but boy howdy will I fix you a meal that will make you fall in love with me forever. (Yes, I am sometimes slightly delusional.)) The ex would cook and I'd just have to leave. Like LEAVE. You see someone use a metal utensil on a non-stick pan and you want to claw their eyes out, you have to just remove yourself from the situation. I'm one of those people who when someone asks, "How can I help?", unless I am aware of their proficient skill as a sous-chef, I tell them they can help by getting out of my way. (No, I do not wonder why I'm single. I've pretty well figured that one out, thanks.)

Oh, and now it sounds like he has the tenderizer out and is beating something. AWESOME! Also of note: my room is right across the hall from the kitchen. Our house is not that big. Noise travels.

(It does, however, smell good. I also just realized dinner is me in my Uggs, sweat pant jeans, and zipper hoodie with my mom and stepdad. "Isn't it Rommmannttiiiccc?")

2. I'm celebrating OMG I GET TO GO TO A HOCKEY GAME! day today and nothing else. I'm excited. In the way I get excited about going to Tiger Stadium. Which is: a lot. Going to Tiger Stadium > Law school graduation. Just sayin'. As such, I was on the Tumblr, where I follow some Caps people and they made some joke about sending silly Caps related Valentine's. This will mean nothing if you don't know the players but I immediately submitted, "I love you more than Matt Hendrick's loves fighting, more than Brooks Laich loves chick flicks (4:40 mark). I love you more than I love Mike Green on an orange Vespa wearing grandpa slippers, and that's a LOT." Because Tumblr is populated by 15 year old girls far better with MS Paint or photoshop or whatever than I am, someone took my text and turned it into the following picture:
Whoever did that is a genius and a-okay in my book. It made me just giggle hysterically. If I ever fall in love with a hockey fan, I'm sending them that as a card. I would send it to Chuck but I doubt he would appreciate my sense of humor and then get all weird about our friendship. 

3. Beth wins today for making a comparison I make all the time: Outer Sunset = South Boston. We just don't have ridiculous accents. Okay, maybe our propensity for the word "like" and overuse of awesome is kinda ridiculous. But not accented. 

4. If you would like to have nightmares, watch this video of abandoned Six Flags New Orleans. I never went there, as amusement parks weren't really a big deal in Louisiana, but holy crap this video creeps me out. (Also: have you BEEN to New Orleans? What person of drinking age needs an amusement park? The place IS an amusement park.) 

5. I'm taking the bar in Sacramento and staying at a Joie de Vivre hotel. Cuz I'm fancy like that (actually, it was cheaper than the Sheraton/Hilton/whatever was recommended by the bar). All I know about Sacramento is that it's the state capitol. I'm not exactly going to be exploring or anything while I'm there, mostly stress eating room service and trying not to slit my wrists, but if you have any recommendations for not horrible, not chain restaurant dining, I'd appreciate the suggestions. 

(OMG I was just on the hotel website: Complimentary evening wine offering for hotel guests. Wow. That is...I dunno. Awesome. And dangerous.) 

Alright, now that I've thoroughly freaked myself out with my procrastination, I'm gonna go do contracts and run the prayer of St. Ignatius in my head. Despite my lapsed Catholic status, that actually calms me.

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